It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
Winners do what other people won't.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
