Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
