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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.

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"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.

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You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.

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If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

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NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.

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I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?

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God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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Cool story bro, changed my life.

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Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.

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The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.

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Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.