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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.

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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.

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Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!

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Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Perception is everything.

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It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.

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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.

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I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.

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Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.