I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
