I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
F that B.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
