I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
