I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
