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I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.

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I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.

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Real eyes realize real lies.

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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.

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That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.

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Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?

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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.

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Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.