2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
It takes more energy to look back than to look forward into the future.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
