2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Love needs to get glasses.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
