Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
