Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
