Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
