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I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?

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Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.

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You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.

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You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.

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Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

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Playing comes first, you can work later.

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Maturity is knowing when to be immature.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.

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The lottery: voluntary taxation.

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Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.

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I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.

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If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?

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You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.