I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
