When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
