When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
