When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
