When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
