When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
