When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
