I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
