I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Cool story bro, changed my life.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
