Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
