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Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.

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Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.

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I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.

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I eat problems, then shit out success.

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S_CCESS can't be complete without U.

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I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.

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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.

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Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.

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Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

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Immaturity keeps me young.

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Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.

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I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?