Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
It's weird not to be weird.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
