Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
