Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
