Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Be positive for no reason.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
