If your not going to win the argument, lie.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
