If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Trust in God but lock your car.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
