If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
