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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.

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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.

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It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

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You live and you learn.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.

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I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!

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Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.

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That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.

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Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.

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A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.