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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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F that B.

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I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

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Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

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I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.

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You know you love her when people think you're crazy.

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Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.

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An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.

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When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

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If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.