If your not going to win the argument, lie.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
The world is a fucked up place. You fit right in.
