If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
