Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Everybody spread positivity.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
