Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
You live and you learn.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
