Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Playing comes first, you can work later.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
