Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Be positive for no reason.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
