Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
