Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
