Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
