Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
The world is full of guys, be a man.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
