Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Fall in love with my mind.
