Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
F that B.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
