Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
You live and you learn.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
