Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Wherever you go, there you are.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Make money, don't let it make you.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
