Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Trust in God but lock your car.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Love needs to get glasses.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
