Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
