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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.

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Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.

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What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'

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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

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Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.

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I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.

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Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.

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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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You're never too old to learn something stupid.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.