Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
You should appreciate what you have, before it becomes what you had.
