Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
