Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
