Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
