Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Take it easy, give it hard.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
