Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
