Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
