Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
True friends stab you in the front!
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
