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Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.

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We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.

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It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.

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Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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Regret lasts longer than fear.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.

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If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

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Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.

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Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.

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I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.