Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
