Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
