Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
You live and you learn.
