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Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.

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Haters make you famous.

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You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.

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Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.

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The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

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If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!

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Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

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I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.

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Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.

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Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.