Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
