Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
Real eyes realize real lies.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Perception is everything.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
