Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Fall in love with my mind.
Wherever you go, there you are.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
