Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
You're only as good as your last game.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
