Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
