Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
