Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
If you can't beat them, taze them.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
