Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
