Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Be positive for no reason.
