Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
True friends stab you in the front!
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
