I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Be positive for no reason.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
The smile is every woman's sexiest curve.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
