I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Make money, don't let it make you.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Wherever you go, there you are.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
