I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
