I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
I knew I was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
