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I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.

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Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

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Real eyes realize real lies.

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Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".

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Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.

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When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

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Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.

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If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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Auto-correct can kiss my ask.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.

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Immaturity keeps me young.