X
Enter your quote:
140
Select Category:
  
Enter the numbers as shown:

vote

That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.

vote

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

vote

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.

vote

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

vote

Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."

vote

I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.

vote

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

vote

You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.

vote

It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.

vote

If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.

vote

That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.

vote

I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.

vote

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

vote

Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?

vote

This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".

vote

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

vote

Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.

vote

You inspire me to be a better pervert.

vote

The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.