When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
Haters are just confused admirers.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
