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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.

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So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.

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Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.

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I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.

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Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.

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My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.

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Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.

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A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.

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To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.