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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.

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Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

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If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.

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The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.

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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

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I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.

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Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

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God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....

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If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!