No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Be positive for no reason.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
