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No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.

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Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

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I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

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It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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Always remember to smile.

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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

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Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.

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I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

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You don't have to understand to be understanding.

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It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.