No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
