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Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.

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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.

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Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.

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Dreams lift when reality falls.

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It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.

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Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.

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A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.

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Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.

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Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.

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Be positive for no reason.

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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.