Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
