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Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.

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Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.

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It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.

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I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.

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Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.

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The lottery: voluntary taxation.

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Everybody spread positivity.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

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Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.

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You know you love her when people think you're crazy.

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Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.