The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Winners do what other people won't.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
