If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
