If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
