If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Make money, don't let it make you.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
