If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
