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The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.

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Don't wait for anybody to complete you.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain

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Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.

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I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.

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Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.

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Perception is everything.

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Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.

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You inspire me to be a better pervert.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

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You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.

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Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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Face your problems, don't facebook them.

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That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.