The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
Haters make you famous.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
