The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Take it easy, give it hard.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
