The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Sleep, hugs, kisses, love, friends, family, memories, smiles, laughter, fun... the best things in life are free.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
