The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Fall in love with my mind.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Be positive for no reason.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
