Winners do what other people won't.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
Make money, don't let it make you.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
F that B.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
