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Winners do what other people won't.

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Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.

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Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.

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Take it easy, give it hard.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.

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I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.

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That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.