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Winners do what other people won't.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

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Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

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Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?

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Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.

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Always remember to smile.

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Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.

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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.

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You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.

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I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.