Winners do what other people won't.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Everyone's fine with babies being entertained by keys, but let one baby drive a Porsche and suddenly I'm a horrible uncle.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
