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Winners do what other people won't.

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If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.

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If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

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Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.

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Trust in God but lock your car.

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Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."

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Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.

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Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.

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Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.

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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

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If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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You can't define love, but love can define you.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.