Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
