I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Taking forever to pick up a phone call because you're dancing to your ring tone.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
