I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
You can't define love, but love can define you.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
