I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
