You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
It's weird not to be weird.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
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