You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
