You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
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