You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
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