You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
If you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it.
Teacher: "You failed the test." - Student:"You failed to educate."
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
Perception is everything.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
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