You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
Everybody is a student for life.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
I'm not spoiled, I'm just well taken care of.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.