You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
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