You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
Playing comes first, you can work later.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
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