You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
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