You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
The minute you settle for less than what you deserve you get less than what you settled for.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
Haters make you famous.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
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