You don't have to understand to be understanding.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
Take it easy, give it hard.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
