Regret lasts longer than fear.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
I'll advise you... don't mess with me: I know Karate, Judo, Tai Kwon Do, Jujitsu and 28 other dangerous words.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.