Regret lasts longer than fear.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Take it easy, give it hard.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.
